Dumas

If I’d been told when I first became a proxy that within a year I’d be having a recorder constantly running so that it could help catch anything people said that I’d need for a blog I was writing, I’d have killed myself out of embarrassment. And now look at me. I can’t believe I’ve fallen this low.

There hasn’t been much to record lately anyway. Andrew’s still in critical condition, but the nature of our job prevents us from taking him to the hospital. Lepidus is trying to do the best he can, but I don’t know if that will be enough. Sometimes I see Sky staring at his door, completely motionless. When I try to talk to her when she’s like that, she’ll jump a little, and then walk away without a word.

Other than that, I’ve still been working. The investigation on the dead boy’s died down, but we’re still on reduced funding. The only reason we’re not starving is because Lepidus, Dumas, and I are switching off who goes without dinner each day.

Then yesterday, Dumas stopped by my desk as I was signing several stacks of forms.

Du: “You certainly look busy.”

Di: “Tell me about it. I don’t think I can see an end to this paperwork in sight.”

*Dumas dropped a flier onto my desk. At first I thought it was yet another form to fill out, but when I looked at it I saw the words “Aloha Festival” on top.*

Di: “What is this?”

Du: “It’s taking place this weekend by Tempe Town Lake. And you look like you could use a break.”

Di: “But my work….”

Du: “Is still going to be here when you get back.”

I really should have argued harder, but I really did want a break. And that’s how I ended up skipping work and spending the entire day with Dumas at a Hawaiian themed festival downtown.

Being there felt really surreal. I haven’t gone out in public in a long time. It’s not the sort of thing you do once you get involved with the Boss, no matter which side you’re on. Dumas didn’t seem to care. “What’s the worst that could happen?” Well, the Boss could get mad at us for skipping our job and kill us both. “Has that ever actually happened to anyone who messed up on paperwork?” No, but…. “I think you’re overestimating how important F-113 forms are to the Slender Man. Now come on, they’ve got ukulele lessons over there.”

Despite how weird it felt, after a while I started having fun. It’s been a while since I could let go like that. And that festival’s probably the closest I’ll ever get to visiting Hawaii. For a few hours, Dumas and I got to ignore the fact that we’re working for a faceless monster that kills people.

But I couldn’t escape work completely. Towards the end of the day, Dumas and I grabbed some of the free food they had. The food was amazing. Much better than what we’ve been scrounging up to live on. While we ate, Dumas started to talk.

Du: “I’ll admit, I did have a little selfish motivation when I asked you to come here with me. I wanted to talk to you.”

Di: “About what?”

Du: “I know Gabriel’s been meaning to do this too, if he can drop the thug act long enough. He’s where I got the idea from. I wanted to talk about how I became a proxy.”

*That seemed out of nowhere.*

Di: “Why talk to me about that?”

Du: “You’re becoming something like a confessor for our group. First you posted your story, then Sky’s, then Lepidus’s….”

Di: “But why me specifically? There’s other people who are better at listening! Lepidus is good with people, why not talk to him?”

Du: “Because you’re the one with the blog. When we die, that’s going to be the only record of our existence. It would be nice if our stories could be recorded before we’re gone.

*I’d never thought about my blogging as a record before. It had just been something I was doing because I was bored. But when he said that, I realized that he was right, in a way. This blog has been turning into a collection of our stories.*

Di: “Well… alright. If you’re okay with this going on my blog. How did you become a proxy?”

Du: *He took a deep breath.* “Promise you won’t laugh.”

Di: “Um… okay, I won’t laugh.”

Du: “I responded to a recruiting campaign and passed the interview.”

Di: *I was stunned silent for a while.* “They do interviews for proxies?”

Du: *He laughed once.* “Not exactly, no. I’d just graduated with a degree in business management, and was looking for a career. A professor of mine told me that he had connections to a company that was looking for young recruits to hire. I sent in my resume with his recommendation, they called back to set up an interview, and I went through the interview process. All normal procedure. Two weeks later I got a call from them telling me I’d been given the job.” *His smile remained on his face, but it started to seem much more forced.* “I showed up the first day of the job, they sat me down in a dark room, and informed me that the company I’d just signed up for was a front for a cult serving a monster from beyond time and space with a tendency toward killing people. Oh, and if I tried to leave they would kill me.”

*He paused as if expecting a reaction from me, but the only reaction I could manage was for my jaw to hang open in surprise. This was certainly not the sort of proxy recruitment story I’d been expecting. After a brief laugh at my shock, he continued.*

Du: “At first, I thought this was some kind of weird hazing initiation for new employees. But then they started showing me evidence of Slender Man’s existence, and it became pretty clear that it wasn’t a joke. They introduced me to Truth, who explained my responsibilities. A lot of it was the sort of business work I’d been expecting, but with extra proxy duties on top. Negotiating mergers by day, burying bodies by night. It was an interesting double life.
That continued for a while, and at times it felt more like I was working for a really corrupt and opportunistic company than an evil cult. At least until I got assigned to security at your apartment.”
*He paused for a while.*
“That night when I heard you screaming and ran into your room… that was the first time I actually saw the Slender Man. In person, I mean. I’d seen lots of pictures and videos, but never in front of me. My working relation with him had always been a distant one; I knew Truth was taking orders from him, but I was too far down on the pyramid to ever get his attention. Which is partly why I reacted so stupidly when I saw him.”

*I know I’d promised not to laugh, but I couldn’t help a few giggles escaping.*

Du: “Hey, you said you wouldn’t laugh!”

Di: “I know, I know, but… that was your first time seeing the Boss? What kind of proxy works for him without even seeing him? And your reaction to seeing him for the first time was to try to shoot him?”

Du: *Dumas started to laugh as well.* “Yeah, I guess I’m just not very good at making positive first impressions on my superiors. It’s a wonder they didn’t fire me.”

Pretty soon, both of us were laughing uncontrollably. It wasn’t really that funny, but after the horror that the rest of us went through becoming proxies, Dumas’s story just seemed so absurd. I didn’t think it was possible to accidentally become a servant of the Boss, but I guess Dumas was unlucky.

That was the only mention of our work during the festival. The rest of the time, we focused on relaxing, and enjoying the day. When I got back home there was a huge backlog of work that I still haven’t been able to catch up on, but I’m okay with that. My head feels a lot clearer now than it has in a while. I’ll have to see if I can get away with more of these mental rest days sometime.